Today is a very special day. It is my son Jacob's eight birthday. I asked him before he went to school if he felt any older today. ''Nah'' he said, munching on a box of raisins.
Well, I do.
I don't know why it is, but it seems like the older you get, the more impact everything has and the more you remember it. I can't tell you what I did for my twentieth birthday, but I can remember every single one of my children's birthdays, 13 in total now between the two of them.
I remember Jake's birth like it was yesterday. He had problems at first, and I could not hold him because the doctors and nurses were working on him.
I swear, it was the longest twenty minutes of my life. Absolutely nothing else I have experienced can compare to the anguish and guilt and worry that beat at me as I lay helpless on the bed waiting to hold him for the first time.
But no other feeling can compare to the equally staggering pride and love I felt when I finally got to hold him, and look down into those big blue eyes.
So, I'm doing my Mom thing today and baking cupcakes for his class, and being prideful and loving as I do it. (Although not these ones. These are red velvet cupcakes with Godiva Liquer chocolate icing, yummy, but not kid friendly.)
If I feel really ambitious I'll make cookies too, but cupcakes first.
"Have to have cupcakes, Mom."
Ok Jake, because I love you.
Even though you make me feel old.
Maybe I'll get some writing done tomorrow.